Sunday, 19 May 2013

Do opposites attract?

You have that ideal person in your head...A dark, mysterious Italian? A blonde Aussie surfer? You may day dream of that Latino lover, but chances are you won't end up with them. I'm not being negative, I'm saying that the person who we think is our ideal other half tends not to be. 
When I was eight I had a massive crush on Stephen Gately; Boyzone posters wallpapered my walls and 'Key to my Life' blared from the stereo (much to the disappointment of my classical music loving father). My sister, friend and I used to argue about who was the most worthy of being Stephen's wife, the result of which was based on who had done the most research reading Boyzone annuals. It came as a bit of a shock when in 1999 he came out of the closet, and I was informed that my dream guy was dreaming of guys. Yes I know I was a child and I also wanted to marry Ashton Kutcher and Josh Hartnett, but you see where I'm coming from; our perfect person often isn't as perfect for us as we think.
But how about your ideal half being your opposite? Going for a leisurely stroll with my boyfriend I was surprised when he referred to us as opposites; I had always thought the fact that we were so similar had made us such good friends, and that was the key to our relationship. So I asked him to elaborate. He responded by telling me that I am a chatter, I'm from a family of talkers who (as the name would suggest) fill any silence with questions, a spontaneous outburst of song, or a verbalised train of thought (or verbal diarrhoea as he so nicely put it). He, on the other hand, is very chilled out and, not quiet ,but content with a bit of silence . I protested that I enjoy silence from time to time and I don't always ask questions.  So he took me back to earlier that day when he was half way through getting dressed and I asked the 'what are you thinking?' question. He replied '..erm, nothing'. I was confused...'what do you mean, you have to have been thinking something' (isn't everyone's mind a constant whir of activity? My mind is a breeding ground for the deep and meaningful). Exasperated he replied 'ok, well I guess I was thinking..hmmm which socks shall I wear today?'. I found it very hard to continue that conversation. 
And so I realised yes, I do fill silences with pointless questions. I exaggerate while he dumbs things down. I'm an attention seeker while he.. Isn't.  For many things we are quite opposite, but actually that's why we work.  He is the perfect antidote to my 'everything's a drama' reaction to life. Learn from this; opposites do attract and can sometimes be a great combination. Be thankful that your partner isn't your carbon copy, their OCD probably does your messy house wonders. Or if you're looking for love, try somewhere you wouldn't usually go, and rub out the boundaries of your 'type'. Don't be disheartened if you don't end up with Mr right or your girl next door, your perfect person may just be living opposite. 


  1. I genuinely LOLd at your description of yourself...very perceptive! But we wouldn't have you and your dramas any other way! From anon (???)

  2. A clue to my identity: What is stephen's star sign?

  3. I still have no idea if that's right! I clearly knew he was gay all along and don't want to waste my time with Gately trivia! X
    P.s. my favourite post so far!!